Surviving to Thriving: Sandra Lyng on Developing an Unbreakable Mindset

[00:00:00] what defines my whole life is the little choice. I’m not a victim. I’m a fighter. I keep going no matter what, I will never quit, I will never give up and I will refuse to feel sorry for myself.​ ​ welcome to this episode of scaling Life. And [00:01:00] today I have Sandra Ling, she’s a, Extremely great entrepreneur there is so much inspiration with having conversation with Sandra and also how much she, how much she do to really get to the next level in life, So welcome Sandra. thank you so much. So the first thing I want to ask about, well, when was the first time in life that you understood that you had the entrepreneur mindset when did it come up that you can start to make your money? How old was you then and what did you do? I started very young. So I started selling things outside my house. next to where I, where I grew up, they have this It’s a beach, like a place where people come to, to lay on the beach and swim. It’s like a bathing place. I don’t know what you call it. the whole town is gathering there in the summertime. And I’m like, why aren’t people selling ice cream here? I think I was around 12. everybody [00:02:00] wants ice cream. It’s hot out there and, and drinks too. So what I did, I bought cheap ice cream from the ice cream truck. Cause then you get small, you get like a huge container with small ice cream. And I sold it. For full price. I rented a big ice box and had ice cream in it and sold it. That was, I, that was my first like shop that I had it went very well. and I guess when I was around 10, I started picking strawberries. I did that for a few summers And what I realized, oh, I haven’t thought about this, but what I realized is if I buy the strawberries I pick I will earn more money as selling them myself because it’s one thing to earn a little bit money and, and to sell them in stores. But what I did is that I bought the strawberries myself after I also got paid for picking them. [00:03:00] And then I went around ringing doorbells and sold them. For a much higher price than you would in the stores. I think this is so interesting because every time I talk with entrepreneurs, they kind of have similar stories that I started in young age and they start to do stuff. I’m grown up in there and your little starting with the national football stadium in Norway. And what I did was under the cup final, I, I brought with my barbecue from my parents and I stand outside there and start to sell hot dogs. do you think it’s like, is this something that someone taught you? Or is it just a natural gene inside it that you start to think about that in young age? Was there any parents? Was there any around you that kind of pushed you to start to think about how we can make your own money? Or was it just like a gene inside you? I got a little allowance uh, week and I thought it was too little. So I have to be creative. No, I haven’t learned it from anyone. I don’t know where, where all this [00:04:00] come from and they call me a little bit of a black sheep and the family, because I, I guess I’m different. In the way I think and what I do than my family. So what do you say different? What do you feel is different from you from the rest of your family or the rest of the people around you and very grew up? I think that they are very happy and comfortable by doing the steps that like you’re supposed to do with. You go to school, then you pick an arrow where you want to, what do you want to study, and then you work what you studied. And you do that until you’re retired. I just was three months and we call it Vitago and I think it’s college. And I, so I always been working for myself. I had my own company since I was 16 years old. always been working. So next to school, like for example, when I was 15 years old, I [00:05:00] worked at a gas station at night selling hot dogs. I worked at a kindergarten after school and I worked there in the weekends, I worked at, at a cafe. I don’t know why I just always had this. I want to, I want to work. Got one. Have different experiences and I want to earn my own money in my own way. And so I think the difference is probably that, am not happy inside the box. I wish I was, I think that you know, the entrepreneur life is not always easy. You have to, you have to deal with some hard emotions and you have people who rely on you and the risk is big. sometimes wish I was just why can I have just a job that I enjoy and that I know what income would be that that is safe. But It’s not meant for me. So when was the first time in life that you felt people were jealous or you’re too crazy or, [00:06:00] because this is what I heard all my life, Patrick are too crazy. And I think every entrepreneur I talk with, you get like, Oh, you’re too crazy. You’re, you’re not, you’re not. You’re not living the normal life that you should do because what you think about is, it’s not reality. Well, I wasn’t afraid to put myself out there. I started in a new school because we moved to the countryside in second grade. so I came in a class there and there were very few people because it, this was under countryside and I came from. Came from the town. that was the first time I saw that you’re not supposed to think you are something. That was something I heard again and again, and you think you are so great. You think you can sing all of those things because I have always had a huge passion for music and to write songs and to sing, and when I joined the choir and got high out, I want to be a vocalist. I want to. And I did that almost the first day I [00:07:00] started school and I was performing in front of the class. I get a little lightheaded just thinking about it. we had a huge, huge arena in Södermalm and in when, when it’s like Christmas when you’re supposed to go home for Christmas vacation, you have, you have this concert to say bye and people are invited and the parents are invited. And I, I wanted to sing like, like solo songs. And when I did that, my, the whole class. Boycotted me when I sang they they made noise with their chairs while I was started singing and went out of the Hall where I was a and then came in after I was singing I got so sad because I thought the reason was that they hated me and that I was singing trash that I wasn’t worthy. What I realized later is that, okay, it’s because I put my nose out [00:08:00] there. It’s because I, was a front figure. I was the person who wanted to sit in the front of the class and I got friends with the teacher because I loved learning. And sometimes I thought they were easier to talk to and communicate with grown up people because I didn’t know They had smart things to say, if it makes sense. So I was probably the annoying kid. But then what? That was probably the first time. If I’m gonna look back, I didn’t know that, then, that it was jealousy. or maybe I was just annoying. But I think that was jealousy when I look back on it. But at the time I didn’t know and I got really hurt. So when was the time you experienced it for the first time? Do you have like this moment? I don’t know if I have a day moment, but I always know that I’ve been called crazy. It’s like, you’re, you’re, that’s, I’m thinking different that everyone else is accepted. I know my father, I, this is all late in my life, but for some years [00:09:00] ago, my company went bankrupt. And I remember I need to lend some money from my father because I didn’t have any money. He said, I will give you this money. But this one, one thing that you need to promise me is never be entrepreneur again. And that was like sticking a knife and just drag it around. And I say to my father immediately, because on that time I was a little bit unsecure if I am an entrepreneur or, you know, this was after I’d been running companies for 20 years and then I went bankrupt. So I start to normal is like the self confidence go down and I start to think like. is this me? Maybe I’m not an entrepreneur. Maybe I’m not. Maybe I should just get a normal job. But when my father told me that, that was just like kicking in the energy and I just said to him, Sorry, I don’t need the money from you. I’ll find another way. He’s like, I can’t promise you that. That’s like, but, but it’s like the way he told me, it was like, please get a normal life. Like, stop dreaming, stop thinking about [00:10:00] all this thing that you want to do. I also have friends in France in Norway that are still thinking that everything I’m doing. that I moved to Vietnam, that I did all this thing that they think like one day he will wake up and think like life is not like this, had a friend that are totally different than me. He’s investing a lot of money and building up a lot of income and having a lot of real estate and all this thing. And for me, that’s not the most important thing. It’s like, of course, it’s good to have investment. But for me, it’s like life is about enjoying and life is about seeing new things in the world and living. Because I can have 100 millions in real estate when I’m 100 years, I’m thinking about, wow, that’s cool. But what, what do I need when I’m 100 years, or I can talk about all this crazy stuff I’ve done, all this thing that I’ve done in my life. And I maybe spend a lot of money on it, but I’ve lived life. And for me, that’s more important than, and for many, that’s kind of. [00:11:00] Controversial. I think they’re thinking like you need to start a carrier. You need to have a house. You need to have a car. You need to have a cabin. You need to there is so many things that the society said too, that this is how it should be, but I don’t believe in that and that’s doesn’t fit me. That’s also why I need to move from Norway. Like you said, I felt like I’m a black sheep and I doesn’t belong here. You as one of the first, was this the first season of Idol that you yeah, it was the second season actually in 2004. So how did you come up with the idea to apply for that? To be honest, I, I didn’t have the The boss myself to do it. Cause cause I got pretty heavily bullied and that, like we talked about when, when people get repeatedly says something negative about you, what happened is, is you like, it’s almost like you just, okay, thank you. Adapting that and put it into your own thoughts. So I, my self esteem got pretty low and, [00:12:00] I didn’t think I would have a chance, but what happened was my mom actually helped me. She replied because what I did on the first season then I was 15 years old, 14 or 15 when I watched it, I would sing all the songs that , that the competitors, when, and I, I would know all the lyrics and and I was singing it and I would perform it and. Just pretend that I was standing on a huge stage. I’ve been doing that since I was three years old. My dad put me on top of my trailer when we were on vacation. Everywhere there was a a scene, I would stand up and I would sing. So I guess I was born to do that. But what happened was that my mom actually applied. I send a video or something on me. I don’t know. I don’t remember, but they called me and wanted me to audition. I, and I remember when we had house falls with a, with a wire, I would never forget that call. I’m, are you kidding [00:13:00] me? Is this happening? And so my whole family traveled to Toronto and was like a five hour. Ride and stay the night at a hotel. We didn’t, we didn’t do stuff like that. So that was pretty huge just for me to audition. And I’m so grateful for that. And what happened is that yeah. I think it was like seven, seven, 8, 000 people. And I was one of the top 10. so if you look back in our life until today, what, what kind of things have you done in life that are not normal to do, that you’re really proud of? I know that you have been living other countries. You, you have been doing a lot, you have been starting a lot of companies. You have been writing children books. You have a artist, you have online course, and you have, you have done a lot of stuff that, maybe someone around 80 never would do when they’re finished life. I am proud of myself for never giving up. And my motto is never give up, never give up, keep going, keep going, keep going, regardless. Because [00:14:00] it’s been a pretty hard, tough life too. What I’m most proud of is that I have always chosen not to be a victim. that decisions changed my life and I have dared to, to try because I always ask myself this question. What is the worst thing that can happen? So I’m like, okay, I’m moving to LA. That’s the capital. where the songs are written. when I had no money, I lived on a mattress in the studio for weeks and then I got to rent from, from a friend of mine. That’s how I started over there. I wanted to pursue my dream. And the worst thing that happened was that I went back to Norway and started working in the kindergarten again. It’s a lot of things that I would say, I’m proud of, I’m proud that I took a smart choice in partner that I didn’t continue the cycle in, attracting bad men into my life, I stopped that, generational cycle and got, got a good husband for myself where soon, [00:15:00] soon to be. And I’m a mother, but I think what defines my whole life is the little choice. I’m not a victim. I’m a fighter. I keep going no matter what, I will never quit, I will never give up and I will refuse to feel sorry for myself. So if you look at the five last years of your life, like where you was for five years ago where you are today, what is different in your life today that it was from five years ago? Oh, wow. That that’s a huge difference. That’s two different people. Five years ago, I had a little baby with colleague. I had a birth depression. And right after my music career went to hell. I’ve been an artist for 16 years or something, that was the only thing I’ve been living off. And when COVID came, all of the concerts got taken away. So I had no income. Yeah. I was depressed, I was miserable, and I had a baby that I couldn’t get to stop crying because his tummy [00:16:00] hurt. I just felt like, is this how life is supposed to be? I didn’t have any money, any confidence or self esteem, but what I did is, Look for solutions. So I said, okay, I have some Instagram followers. I see that people are making money out of that. So I contacted someone and asked, Hey, I can also, recommend stuff on Instagram. is that a job? And yeah, it was. So I started making money out of that as an influencer and, and really dived into how to make good content. And I started making content about real. things and not what I was wearing or how cool my life looked, but real things as life is hard sometimes. And also I was honest around pregnancy and how it is to become a first time mom, especially when you have the traumas I have. I got help for this how to shrink and I was in the system now that I had a kid, I always had this dark thoughts. [00:17:00] And if it doesn’t work out, I can always let go and not live anymore. I had this in the back of my head. Like if it doesn’t work out I’m just gonna leave this planet. But when I, now that I have a son, that was not an option anymore. And I still was so in so much pain. I realized that I wasn’t the best mother. I wasn’t the best girlfriend. I wasn’t the best friend. didn’t know how to handle life at all at this point. So I’m like, okay, what are people doing? That’s the question I ask myself. What are people doing that is in my position? What are people doing that has the same upbringing as I am, that has the same trauma as I am, because people have survived it. Strengths have told me that it’s weird that you’re not an alcoholic, dead, or a drug addict, because people with your type of life or trauma. that’s the way they go. But I asked myself the opposite question, what are they doing? And I started studying that. What did Oprah do? What did Tony Robbins do? He [00:18:00] had, a tough period in his life and I started taking courses and classes and just Studying mental health it changed my life in just a couple of weeks, because I always thought that people and shrinks and coaches are gonna, fix me. This is the moment around five years ago, I realized that. I have to fix myself and there is not an exit anymore because I have a child. I’m not gonna leave him never. I’m going to be strong for him. when I started implementing these things in my life, like the morning routine, I started eating better. I started exercising, not because I had to. look a certain way, but because I realized I started studying the mind, the body how feelings work, what are habits what is stress and what is HRV? What, how, why am I, and how am I, and how do I work and how could I, could I make it better? And when I’ve decided for that [00:19:00] and totally changed my life, I got. This question from because they, they had my shrink said she’d never seen this I was healthy in just a couple of weeks and she hasn’t seen a transformation like that since she could remember. So she asked me, do you want to work here as an experienced consultant and I’m like, what is that a job? Yes, we would like to, cause I could work, walk into different rooms where they have these and these and these and these challenges and I already had it. and I came through I survived it or I, I, got to the other side, like they have in, in AA, where they have like a sponsor, this is the same, just in mental health. she said, yeah, you can work here from eight o’clock to four. And it’s, it’s a real job. And then I realized if I’m going to do that, I will be hard for me to do music. And that is my, also a passion of mine. I have two passions. The one thing is to help people who’ve been in the same situation [00:20:00] as me. And the other is music. So I decided to not do that but I was so inspired that this was actually a real job that I started just spreading the word and information on Instagram, and then I came over. Online courses that this was a thing, masterclasses in the States. And I took some courses on how to build and set up a business on online course. And I just made this template. I don’t know what the right words are. step by step on how I got out of. All of this, out of the outburn, the low self esteem, the victim mentality, yeah, I’m saying that, I’m proud that I haven’t been in it, but some places in life, I have to admit, I have and that mental training, these tools, Changed my life and that I realized [00:21:00] that I can do this myself. So if it works for me, it has to work for other people. So that’s when I started that. And my life changed completely. I became an online business entrepreneur as well. I want to come back to that, but I have a question about habits, because I think in the society today, there’s like, I feel it’s like a black and white line between. What is habits? And when do you have too many habits in life? And when do you live your life? And I’m a big fan of habits because I think it drives me in the right direction. But how do you balance it? how do you have this become something that are just and other things to do? So you feel like there is more things to do in daily life and which kind of habits do you implement in your life that are really a benefit for you? What’s great about habits, it’s just, it’s become a part of your lifestyle. If you do them long enough, like I have this morning routine that is just a part of how I wake up, how I get out of bed, 5, out, out. And then I have a [00:22:00] gratefulness routine, like inspired by priming by Tony Robbins that I do. And it primes my head and it makes my state good. And then I, I eat healthier because. I know that my brain doesn’t work as good if I don’t eat the foods that are good for me, and, and I work out a couple of times a week, and it’s just a part of my life, so that’s when habits, I don’t think about them as, as habits anymore. And the bad habits that I had like, overeating eating when I couldn’t understand my feelings. And now I’m, I’m feeling them instead the healthy way and the habits of, of me now resting. That’s a new thing. I, I’ve been interpolated into my life. I’m, I’m following my watch and see when I’ve been stressed. And now I know that I have to go into the parasympathetic to resting mode. And that has made me not have migraine. So, I don’t think about it as habits anymore because it’s just a part of my [00:23:00] life and things I do to be at my best. To have more energy, to sleep better, to, be able to be there for my clients and also have energy when I’m supposed to be on stage. But, we are so alike, you and me. it’s crazy. I feel like I’m just the woman version of you in some areas. we tried out the 75 hard together We’re supposed to work out two times a day not eat sugar. That was my thing. But habits like that was too extreme because what I did, I have chronic migraine and what I did, I worked out though I had migraine day after day after day and that was not good for me. So you have to find that balance, but when it’s a part of your brain, when neuroplasticity has reprogrammed your brain, it’s part of you. You don’t think about it as habits anymore. I agree. And I, I started to do two, three years [00:24:00] ago. I did the 75 hard for the first time. you know, before I moved to Vietnam, I was not working out so much. I hated doing workout session and it was not me, but step by step I start to. So right now I’m working out almost, I’ll say in average, maybe one half to two. Time per day that’s just like a habit now and it’s it feels good and that’s why I ask you because people are coming to me like Oh, why are you doing this? You’re putting so much pressure on myself, but i’m not I just feel like if i’m going to achieve what I want in life and achieve as an entrepreneur and also I need to stay healthy. I start to think about, yeah, I start to be older. I’m not thinking that I’m old, but I also think I need to take more care of my body to reach my target. I don’t want to be on a place where I need to sit down and not do anything when I’m 80. I want to be healthy. I want to live life. I want to travel. I want to do all these things. So a lot of the things that I’m doing for myself is like thinking about where do I want when I’m 80. And I look at people [00:25:00] today that are 80. Someone I. Get so inspired by and someone I say, like, Oh my God, I don’t want to look like that when I’m 80. So it’s also about thinking you where you want to go in life. And that’s kind of my motivation and inspiration. And I also decided for myself or for myself. I think it’s five years ago that every year from now until I die, I will do something that I feel is uncomfortable, something that I’ve never done before. And that’s something I always have. I look at the calendar each year or look at what can I do this year that I’m scared of, that I’m not comfortable with, or something I’ve never done. Because I think Keeping myself young and keeping myself in this not be comfortable in the comfort zone I am in, I need to challenge myself. I always need to do it. Even if I feel so, I’m doing things that I, for five years ago, say like, I never do that. I hate it. What is that? Can you give us some examples? Oh, I will do an example of what I’m going to do this winter because I’m going to Japan Maria’s [00:26:00] youngest son, he’s kind of, he’s really good at sports, much better than I’ve ever been, so, We did a bet with him that I will jump from a 15 meter cliff on skis this winter and I never done it. So that’s kind of, I know, I don’t know if I will do it either, but that’s like, I’m looking for this winter. I will train myself and I’ll go up there and try to jump higher and higher and higher and see if I can find a cliff where I can jump up because even when I was 18, that was too scary for me to do. But I’m going to see And the more proof you give your brain that uncomfortable is. Okay, we survive after the uncomfortable, it will be easier to, to try out things like that. my brain goes totally alarm when it comes to negotiations. that’s what I’m most scared of, I guess, in my entire life. Negotiations and finances, budgets. So that’s my, that’s my goal for 2024 to be able to [00:27:00] stand in those feelings and to, to have a good, a good control over my finances. Sometimes I mention you and I have clients since we’re working together. I’m saying like, oh, Sandra is doing so well. And the first thing I hear many times like, yeah, but she’s a celebrity. Everyone knows who she is. And I like after being with you and starting to know you and I, I, I know how much. Hard work you are putting aside because I have never been a I’m not good at social media at all I I it’s not my gene. I can’t wake up in the morning and think about a picture I should do today or Or whatever, but when I was in brazil I just seeing that you are always on your phone. You are making a new reel You’re doing this and it’s so natural for you. So I I start to What people say to me, Oh, it’s so easy for her because she had 200, 000 followers. And I’m just saying, Hey, do you know how much she do to keep this 200, 000 followers? And I think that’s that’s so much misunderstanding about how to get to a level where you get [00:28:00] followers on how do you keep them? So how do you. How do you do this thing with social media and how, what are you thinking about because it looks so natural for you and you don’t think about it when you’re doing it or, is it hard for you to keep your social presence on social media? To be completely honest, sometimes it’s a pain in the ass. Because I’ve been, I’m so consistent and I’m posting every day at the same time. And I want the content to be inspiring, to be good, to get emotion out of people. lately I’m also putting in a little bit where I’m, I’m sharing who I am as a business person as, as well. And sometimes, sometimes I think it’s very hard to be creative and I want to be inspiring. It’s a lot, it’s a lot of work. It’s a couple of hours a day on social media. That’s because I answer all the DMs. And I have two broadcast [00:29:00] channels. I’m uh, recommending that immediately. It’s like, it’s like an email list. Make a broadcast channel in Instagram, but I also have TikTok and Snap and YouTube. Earlier, I, I’ve logged on YouTube and cut the videos myself, but It is to put in the work. That’s what I’m saying. If, if we these followers hasn’t gotten light to me I could, I, If I haven’t put in the work consistently and the time like now, one of my teammates is here living with me for two days. And what we’re doing is we are constantly creating. So yesterday we were driving around. I was in a, I was in this flower shop where she filmed me. I bought a coffee where she filmed me. We went to the beach where she filmed me. I, while I’m driving the car, she filmed me where I’m talking. Yesterday when I took my makeup off, we made three reels about where we were talking while I’m taking my [00:30:00] makeup I’m, I’m constantly creating and now these two days, we are making content for six weeks every day. And sometimes two, two times a day. And what we did like yesterday, I was up until one o’clock. We started last morning and one o’clock in the night uh, I was working on cutting, finding the right tune. Find the inspire, inspiring lyric uh, captions yeah, I’m really putting in the work and that’s why I have followers and I do that every day though. Sometimes I’m tired. November has been the month that I have posted the least. Sometimes it’s been three days between posting and that was just because I’ve been sick, moving and also It’s been a weird place in social media during the conflict in Gaza, and I think that it’s a hard place to be sometimes you have to deal with a lot of critique and hatred, too. So, [00:31:00] I, I love it because it’s a great way to communicate When I started, it was my musician fans. That’s why I wanted to, I wanted to get to know them and me and they get to get to know me, but, but now it’s. It’s, it’s a way that I can help people for free with the tip that has worked in my life, but also it’s a great way for to reach out organically. So you don’t have to put in, maybe I had, if I hadn’t had put in that work, I had to spend way more money on ads later. For for a launch. I have been doing some things on social media and I’m better when I’m traveling. I live. On a beach in Vietnam, but for me, I just see it like, oh, this is my daily life. So I forget that this is special for others. But when I’m traveling, I can be inspired by myself. So then I can post something and do it. And I want to be better on it. But I’m trying to find someone who can just follow me. [00:32:00] I want to find out. Someone who can just do everything for me, but I don’t find it yet. Can Can I come with some tips on social media? On what platforms I use and what I do? In case someone gets anything out of it. So I use I use Splice to cut videos. I use Canva to, to get stock photos and stock videos that I put in my own. I use captions to get to get the captions right. Yeah. And I have plan where I can plan it, plan them and they, and plan can also post for you. Yeah. I think I need to buy a course from you on social media. You should make a social media course. The reason also we have this podcast is because the listeners are basically info entrepreneurs, their coaches, consultant or someone who are selling the knowledge online. And the reason I started online business was that I had a dream to live in another country and have freedom to work for every [00:33:00] place I want. And I just wonder how has your life changed and what is the most successful Changes for you after you started online business and selling your, stuff online. What, what are you doing today that you couldn’t do before? And how is that impacted your life? I always had a, job where I traveled and was free. that hasn’t changed, but at the same time the way I earned my money was that I, had to go a place, sing, and then I got my salary. Now I can make money from my bed if I want to. The biggest change is that I’m able to build my own home, which I’m now sitting in. I’ve been living here for three weeks. That is huge. I have my own beautiful office here. I love that. And also it has given my life so much joy and happiness that the best to become happy quick is to help others. And [00:34:00] I get to do that every day. And I get to hear the changes people. are having, Because what I’m teaching them and that stems from me having a hard life and I’m so happy and grateful that that I could use my struggles to something good. So thank you so much. And I know that you are a super business. So I’m really grateful that you could do this podcast It’s an honor that you asked me. Thank you so much. I love that you’re doing this podcast. It’s a podcast that we, that the world needs. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. To dig deeper, visit awesome. com forward slash scaling light. That’s A W E S M dot com forward slash scaling light. You’ll find show notes, resources and links. mentioned in this episode, as well as links to our socials. If you like what you heard, please rate and review us on the podcast platform of your [00:35:00] choice. Your feedback is so important to help more entrepreneurs to discover this show. Our goal is to provide inspiration and we hope you’ll continue scaling alongside us. Thanks for your support and see you next time.